The Self-Care Practice You’re Probably Skipping (But Totally Shouldn’t) Why Progressive Relaxation Deserves a Spot in Your Busy Life

If you’re anything like me, your calendar is jam-packed with everything except time for yourself. Between work, family, and trying to survive, the idea of “self-care” often feels laughable, or at best, aspirational. But here’s the thing: your nervous system is not impressed by your hustle. It wants a break.

Enter: progressive relaxation.

I know, it sounds fancy. Maybe even a little boring. But I’m telling you—this one technique can change the game for your physical health, your mental sanity, and even your sleep. And the best part? It’s free, simple, and can be done lying down. (You’re already sold, aren’t you?)

So what is it?

Progressive Muscle Relaxation (PMR), sometimes just called progressive relaxation, is a technique where you slowly tense and then release each muscle group in your body, one at a time. The idea is to bring awareness to areas of tension, help you actually feel what relaxation is, and teach your brain and body how to chill out on command. Many of us are so tense that you don’t even need to tense up your muscles first, you can just focus on the relaxation part.

Think of it as physical meditation for people who hate meditation.

So How Does It Work?

Progressive relaxation targets the autonomic nervous system, which controls your stress response (hello, fight-or-flight). By activating the opposite response—the relaxation response—PMR helps reduce heart rate, lower blood pressure, and shift your body out of panic mode. I don’t know about you, but I feel like I am in panic mode for a good portion of my day. Running here, racing there, don’t forget this, make sure you do that…it’s exhausting.

When you tense a muscle, you’re drawing attention to it. When you release it, you signal safety. Do that through your whole body, and your brain starts to get the message: we’re not in danger. We’re safe. We can relax now.

Who Should Do It?

Short answer? Everyone with a nervous system.

Longer answer?

• Busy professionals who feel like their brains are always on
• Parents who haven’t peed alone in 3 years
• Athletes dealing with performance anxiety
• People with chronic pain, migraines, or insomnia
• Literally anyone who’s ever found themselves doom-scrolling at midnight

Let’s talk Benefits

Here’s what you can expect when you start doing progressive relaxation regularly:

1. Better Sleep

Progressive relaxation helps quiet your mind and calm your body- two things insomnia hates. A lot of people I work with say they fall asleep faster and stay asleep longer after just a few sessions. (It’s basically melatonin without the weird dreams.)

2. Reduced Anxiety and Stress

Tense muscles, racing heart, tight chest? That’s your body in fight-or-flight mode. PMR helps flip the switch to rest-and-digest. Over time, it trains your body to calm down faster, even in stressful situations. Think of it as emotional resilience training… but in a Snuggie.

3. Lower Blood Pressure and Heart Rate

If your body lives in stress mode, your heart is working overtime. Regular progressive relaxation gives your cardiovascular system a break—and research backs that up. This isn’t woo; it’s physiology.

4. Pain Relief

When your body is tense, pain feels worse. When your muscles can finally release, pain levels often decrease. PMR is especially helpful for folks with tension headaches, TMJ, fibromyalgia, or back pain.

5. Improved Body Awareness

Many of us are so used to carrying tension that we don’t even notice it anymore. (Is your jaw clenched right now? Are you wearing your shoulders like they are earrings? Exactly. Now take a breath, reset yourself, and let’s dive back in.) PMR helps you tune in to where you’re holding stress so you can release it on purpose.

Okay, But How Long Does It Take?

A full progressive relaxation session takes about 10–40 minutes. But even five minutes is better than none. You can do it while lying in bed, sitting in a chair, or even at your desk.

How Do I Do It?

Here’s a basic step-by-step. You can also grab my guided version if you want me to talk you through it!

1. Get Comfortable: Lie down or sit somewhere you can fully relax. Take a deep breath.
2. Start at Your Feet: Tense the muscles in your feet—scrunch your toes, tighten your arches—then hold for 5 seconds. Release slowly and notice the difference.
3. Move Up the Body: Progressively tense and release each muscle group: calves, thighs, glutes, stomach, chest, arms, hands, neck, face.
4. Breathe Deeply: Inhale while you tense, exhale while you release. Let your breath stay slow and steady.
5. Stay Present: If your mind wanders, bring it back to the sensation of each muscle letting go.

By the end, your whole body should feel looser, heavier, and way less “I’m gonna lose my shit.”

Real Talk: Why I Started Using It

I’ll be honest: I used to think progressive relaxation sounded like something from an outdated stress management workbook. I was in college, taking a sports psychology class, and my professor had us all lay down on the floor. I thought he was nuts. But when I tried it, I almost cried. My body felt safe. My brain got quiet. I didn’t realize how long it had been since I truly relaxed.

Now it’s a staple in my week. Not because I’m some zen goddess with a morning routine that involves lemon water and 14 affirmations. No. I’m a mom, a business owner, and a trainer with a ton of clients to keep track of. I use progressive relaxation because it works. Because I need it. And because pretending I don’t need recovery is a fast track to burnout.

Try It for Yourself

If you’re curious (or just exhausted), I have a free guided progressive relaxation session you can access on my podcast, Wellness Rebranded, Pop it on at bedtime or after a stressful day—you might be surprised by how effective 15 quiet minutes can be.

You don’t have to earn your rest. You don’t have to do “more” to deserve peace.

You just need to stop for long enough to feel it.